Boredom.
It’s here. I run my fingers into my natural curls, finding the curliest and
play with it. By the way, that’s a Virgo trait. We always seem to play with our
hair. I picked up my phone to go to Facebook, looking at requests and peoples
updates. Laughing at the hilarious FAIL pictures and people’s comments. Bored
again. Twitter had me shaking my head at the ridiculous tweets to even more
ridiculous trends. People are funny. People.
I
know many people from many walks of life, colors, beliefs, lifestyles. I am a
journalist so it is my job, my passion is to know people, to hear people, to
learn about people. It’s my job to know people. I have many friends who I’ve
shared laughs with, vents with, good and bad times with but I only have a
select few of people I consider “my close personal circle”. These are people
who have seen me at my worst, at my best and the in between. They know my
fears, they know my worries. They’ve seen many tears; they’ve heard a lot of
pain. They’ve been my cheer squad, my reminders, and my build up. Yet their opinion, love, respect and support
in me has not wavered. That means the world to me because I am a complicated
woman. Not that easy to grasp, there is no other like me. That is not pride or
an ego, that’s reality.
One
of my girls in my CPC (Close Personal Circle) had been on my mind heavy. We
spent almost 2 years together in ways that make you trust and love one another.
We’ve traveled together, lived together, shared a internship business together.
We knew each other for years through
another but never felt the need to connect in a strong way but life made us be
there for each other. And by the way, I and she are ying and yang. Oil and
water. Black and white. Yet we found things in our lives that we connected on.
She invited me into her world and vice versa and that is my girl! My sister
from another mister and if push comes to shove, she’s knows I am in her corner,
no question.
I
got word out that I wanted to talk to her and *text*
“CHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLEEEEEE”!
This text did not alarm me. You see, that’s our
way of love. We texted our “miss youse” and setting up dates to see each other
and then we got to the serious stuff. That’s why I love her, she’s real. No
fake. We
comforted each other in our realization of each other’s problems. We showed
empathy toward each other and let each other know we were not alone. That no,
we are not crazy. We understood one another.
Just
like my other girlfriend. She just brings the happy out in me. She allows me to
be that flamboyant drag queen that seems to live in me. Our story is funny! No
one could write how our paths crossed. Our first impression, from across a
parking lot, was not the best and to then hear a knock at the door and find
out she was my suitemate. Our expressions toward one another were priceless.
But I soon learned to realize how amazing she is. Our intense glares from distances were realization of similar minds. My
big personality doesn’t scare nor intimidate her. Instead of analyzing and
judging me, she remains confident in whom she is and allows me to be myself and
still loves me.
Yet
no one seems to love me no matter how crazy and dramatic I let my life get me than my ace boon coon.
He, yes he, has seen me at my absolute rawest. He’s been there since the
beginning. He is witness to the bloody emotional and spiritual battles I’ve had to overcome. He knows firsthand
how difficult my life has been/is. He knows. Therefore, how can he not be an important person in my life? We’ve been connected since we were 16 years
old, over state lines, over years of not seeing each other, relationship, schools, etc.
That’s
what’s friend ship is about in miUNREALity.
It is to feel I can be who I am, no mirrors, no smoke just me. No inhabitations about what they will say when I leave the room. To admit a secret that others
would judge and advertise. I can have moments that I wouldn’t dare show
with anyone else. I can show the emotional scars that run deep that I tend to cover
up. They see all of that but are still juxtaposed with me. Ignoring what the
rest of the world thinks and says about me, knowing me. And I give a purple
star to all of them because those Negroes deserve it! Been through hell and back MANY TIMES yet we still standing!
