Master Builder
Have you ever felt “out of
sorts”, “scatter-brained”, or my
favorite laymen saying, “out to lunch”? Well, if you answered truthfully,
congratulations and welcome to the club! There’s nothing like the surreal
moment when you feel like you have lost the owner’s manual to yourself. Here’s
one of my numerous accounts in the
"Dance of the Ditzy".
Like many of my former post I confess and speak of my journey of
self discovery; the hurdles and walls I encounter and the victories and
improvements I make. It’s something that
I am highly committed to but it can tend to drive me a little crazy and that’s
something I am already overstocked with.
I was lying in bed the other night watching re-runs and I
realized that I had no clue what was going on in the program. I had been
staring at the screen sure enough, but my concentration was somewhere else. I
was engulfed with thought. The basis of my complex and frivolous thinking
centered on me thinking about my pure self nature.
Here I was, up at 12:43 am, thinking about my “nature”, this
journey toward self discovery knows no limits and importance of sleep. So like
any other young adult of this generation with a random thought, I grabbed my
phone and goggled. I am a believer in horoscopes and very adamant with standing
on Virgo traits; it speaks nothing but the truth about me. But what about my
exact birth-day: September 22. What new things could I learn
about myself and apply to my “nature”? Would it speak truth?
I came across a website that did exactly what I was searching
for; www. birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com introduced me to the theory of me being a “Master Builder”; of course I read on.
According to “Birthday Personality”, my greatest challenge is
learning to relax which is so true; not just relaxing in a physical state but
in a mental/emotional state as well; the whole intuitive of searching in the
first place gave basis to this.
“The way forward is to understand that downtime is not time
wasted but time gained because you give yourself an opportunity not just to
rest but also to recharge”; I chuckled at this because I do this without
understanding the urge to do so and I have been labeled as “spoiled” and
“self-centered” but it’s nothing but me being within my nature.
September
22 people tend to be multi-tasked individuals with excellent communication
skills and have their own slightly eccentric but wonderfully endearing personal
personality which comforted me. I have always been someone who likes to think
outside the box and have no lost love by stepping away from the crowd if it
meant being true to myself. There is a sense of fear that comes with it because
it’s never my intention to step on peoples toes or disrespect in anyway so to
know my personality has a trait to be enduring eases that fear of being a
nuisance. And I’ve always said that those who can’t handle or deal with me need
not apply to enter my life because I know I am a “one of a kind”.
“From an early age
these people may have felt that they were here for a reason, and this explains
their restless urge to constantly challenge themselves and make their mark on
the world around them. Whatever it is that they feel called to do, they will
follow their vision no matter how disruptive or difficult”; I almost fell
to pieces when I strolled past this because it was as if someone had been
taking notes of my inner feelings and spirit. My quiet whispers had been heard.
My heart jumped for joy because it was
credited just for me, for my date of birth, for my nature.
There
was a statement that indicated my ideals of fairness and equality and superior
intelligence (their words, not mine)
clash with those in authority over me; learning to compromise when necessary
with can be difficult but make the transitions to success smoother. I would be lying if I said I welcomed this
with opening arms, to be honest I was mildly offended but the more I let it
resonate, the more I realized it was truthful.
My
nature isn’t intended to be a “trouble-maker”, which is how I took/take this
when it surfaces. My nature isn’t to be “stubborn” or “bull-headed” which I
have been characterized to be in the past and present. This trait of mine is
something of a “realness radar” if you will, you cannot bullsh*t a bullsh*tter
but the truth is sometimes I do have to “play the game”. Yes, it is a very
difficult thing for me to do but to know when to pick my battles is something
I’ve grown to detect; sometimes it’s just not worth my calling out and
confronting.
As
fun-loving and outgoing I can be, I do have a tendency to be very anti-social
which has thrown many of my friends and acquaintances off; which throws me off.
What seems to be very natural for me to spend nights at home, curled up with a
good book or watching an intense suspense thriller, declining offers to go out,
rubs people the wrong way. “Anti-social!”
they call me.
Yet
there is truth to popular opinion: social isolation is the biggest health risk
for September 22 people because it will invite stress, anxiety and
depression. As much as it is in my
nature to be alone, my need to be social is just as in my nature if not
survival.
I
made a commitment right then and there, “I need to get out more because my
stress and anxiety has been out of control! I am going to overdose on myself!” I
can just hear the whispers and rumors about me being deathly self-centered.
This
new information is not my Bible, I will not be waking up with all of this on my
brain but it is worthy information and most definitely fed my late night
questionable quest to know more about my nature. “I act appropriately on my intuition” my power quote said and I
could have not agreed more as I reached over to turn out the lights acting on
my intuition to finally fall asleep.
Our
inner nature causes us to relate, react and go about a certain way in life.
There are acclaims and jeering along the way and plenty of petitions from some
to “change our ways” but one can never really change their nature. Do you really believe in influencing a dog to stop barking
because it’s annoying and suggest it purr like a cat instead? The suggestion
would be preposterous if not downright delirious!
There’s
room for error and there’s just as much room for improvement but to submit inner
nature to other “suggestions” is such an injustice. It’s injustice to our
selves, the people whose lives we are meant to touch and the Universe.
The
vast Universe has a job to do. Where’s
the harm in a few extra stars that shine a little differently that the others?
“The
privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
–Carl
Jung
