Master Builder

Master Builder

Have you ever felt “out of sorts”, “scatter-brained”, or my favorite laymen saying, “out to lunch”?  Well, if you answered truthfully, congratulations and welcome to the club! There’s nothing like the surreal moment when you feel like you have lost the owner’s manual to yourself. Here’s one of my numerous accounts in the 

"Dance of the Ditzy".

Like many of my former post I confess and speak of my journey of self discovery; the hurdles and walls I encounter and the victories and improvements I make.  It’s something that I am highly committed to but it can tend to drive me a little crazy and that’s something I am already overstocked with.

I was lying in bed the other night watching re-runs and I realized that I had no clue what was going on in the program. I had been staring at the screen sure enough, but my concentration was somewhere else. I was engulfed with thought. The basis of my complex and frivolous thinking centered on me thinking about my pure self nature.

Here I was, up at 12:43 am, thinking about my “nature”, this journey toward self discovery knows no limits and importance of sleep. So like any other young adult of this generation with a random thought, I grabbed my phone and goggled. I am a believer in horoscopes and very adamant with standing on Virgo traits; it speaks nothing but the truth about me. But what about my exact birth-day:  September 22. What new things could I learn about myself and apply to my “nature”? Would it speak truth?

I came across a website that did exactly what I was searching for; www. birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com introduced me to the theory of me being a “Master Builder”; of course I read on.

According to “Birthday Personality”, my greatest challenge is learning to relax which is so true; not just relaxing in a physical state but in a mental/emotional state as well; the whole intuitive of searching in the first place gave basis to this.

“The way forward is to understand that downtime is not time wasted but time gained because you give yourself an opportunity not just to rest but also to recharge”; I chuckled at this because I do this without understanding the urge to do so and I have been labeled as “spoiled” and “self-centered” but it’s nothing but me being within my nature.

September 22 people tend to be multi-tasked individuals with excellent communication skills and have their own slightly eccentric but wonderfully endearing personal personality which comforted me. I have always been someone who likes to think outside the box and have no lost love by stepping away from the crowd if it meant being true to myself. There is a sense of fear that comes with it because it’s never my intention to step on peoples toes or disrespect in anyway so to know my personality has a trait to be enduring eases that fear of being a nuisance. And I’ve always said that those who can’t handle or deal with me need not apply to enter my life because I know I am a “one of a kind”.

“From an early age these people may have felt that they were here for a reason, and this explains their restless urge to constantly challenge themselves and make their mark on the world around them. Whatever it is that they feel called to do, they will follow their vision no matter how disruptive or difficult”; I almost fell to pieces when I strolled past this because it was as if someone had been taking notes of my inner feelings and spirit. My quiet whispers had been heard.  My heart jumped for joy because it was credited just for me, for my date of birth, for my nature.

There was a statement that indicated my ideals of fairness and equality and superior intelligence (their words, not mine) clash with those in authority over me; learning to compromise when necessary with can be difficult but make the transitions to success smoother.  I would be lying if I said I welcomed this with opening arms, to be honest I was mildly offended but the more I let it resonate, the more I realized it was truthful.

My nature isn’t intended to be a “trouble-maker”, which is how I took/take this when it surfaces. My nature isn’t to be “stubborn” or “bull-headed” which I have been characterized to be in the past and present. This trait of mine is something of a “realness radar” if you will, you cannot bullsh*t a bullsh*tter but the truth is sometimes I do have to “play the game”. Yes, it is a very difficult thing for me to do but to know when to pick my battles is something I’ve grown to detect; sometimes it’s just not worth my calling out and confronting.

As fun-loving and outgoing I can be, I do have a tendency to be very anti-social which has thrown many of my friends and acquaintances off; which throws me off. What seems to be very natural for me to spend nights at home, curled up with a good book or watching an intense suspense thriller, declining offers to go out, rubs people the wrong way.  “Anti-social!” they call me. 

Yet there is truth to popular opinion: social isolation is the biggest health risk for September 22 people because it will invite stress, anxiety and depression.  As much as it is in my nature to be alone, my need to be social is just as in my nature if not survival.

I made a commitment right then and there, “I need to get out more because my stress and anxiety has been out of control! I am going to overdose on myself!” I can just hear the whispers and rumors about me being deathly self-centered.

This new information is not my Bible, I will not be waking up with all of this on my brain but it is worthy information and most definitely fed my late night questionable quest to know more about my nature. “I act appropriately on my intuition” my power quote said and I could have not agreed more as I reached over to turn out the lights acting on my intuition to finally fall asleep.

Our inner nature causes us to relate, react and go about a certain way in life. There are acclaims and jeering along the way and plenty of petitions from some to “change our ways” but one can never really change their nature. Do you really believe in influencing a dog to stop barking because it’s annoying and suggest it purr like a cat instead? The suggestion would be preposterous if not downright delirious!

There’s room for error and there’s just as much room for improvement but to submit inner nature to other “suggestions” is such an injustice. It’s injustice to our selves, the people whose lives we are meant to touch and the Universe.

The vast Universe has a job to do.  Where’s the harm in a few extra stars that shine a little differently that the others?

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” 
–Carl Jung

Yours Truly,

-@BMynroe 

xoxo